The Art of Conversation

I have always loved the coffee shop and the coffee shop ambiance. When I first started going to the cafe I was in college for the first time. I made a friend who was also a writer, together we would meet and write and bounce ideas off each other over a cup of coffee. I was a person who wanted to know the story of others and to hear their take on life. I was inspired by Jack Kerouac and wanted to create my own happening and capture my own story. For me, the coffee shop was the perfect way of doing just that.

I can’t tell you the number of people I would and still invite to coffee for a cup and some good conversation. In many of the conversations, I wished that the cup was bigger and that I would have had more time to spend with my friends. I remember one time having a cup of coffee with a friend that stands out as sort of a catalyst of being for me. We hadn’t seen one another in some time but were and have always been good to catch up here and there over a cup of coffee. This time as the cups ran empty and it was time for her to the part I remember watching her leave thinking I should go out and stop her, but what I would say to her I was at a loss for words. I knew that we were two different people and that a friendship was perfect for our relationship.

There have been other cups of coffee and other conversations that have been just as profound and as meaningful to me. I journeyed to the Starbucks Reserve in Tokyo and spent a great deal of time reflecting and thinking. One of the ideas that I came up with while sitting there was, Tokyo is a place of always being somewhere. There was an energy and a sense of hustle and bustle that even when you were in the moment you were still on the go. The Edo period Cafe in Kyoto, Japan was amazing and something truly unique all unto its own. I was able to enjoy a moment with a new friend there and share in something I loved and enjoyed.

When I visited Istanbul Turkey I had a cup of coffee that was unlike any other. As I sat there on the street smoking a hooka and having a traditional cup of coffee, the kind that is made in the sand I was able to let go of everything and truly be in the moment. The idea I had then was Istanbul and having coffee was the art of being nowhere but in that moment. You would simply sit there for hours sipping cups of coffee while smoking hookah. It was easy to get lost in the moment and allow yourself to escape the white noise of the world and life back home.

There is no secret that when I have time I make my rounds to several coffee shops meeting up with some frequent goers. I also know that at some point if I am there long enough someone I know will come through the doors and provide a moment to catch and share, but if anything I work and ponder ideas of art and philosophy.

With everything going on and people’s lives as busy as they are it’s hard to find the time to genuinely disengage from our lives to be a part of someone else’s life before there is a knock suggesting you get back to it. I was honored that a friend came out and stopped off at the coffee shops something that was out of the norm for them so meant the world that they visited me in my world. We talked for over an hour of uninterrupted conversation. We talked about everything from life, plans for the future, and our frustration of how there is never enough time in the day to do and be the things we want to be. Beyond the conversation, we shared our application that as artists we could see and share the projects we were and have been working on. We both grew excited about how we could help one another and support one another in our fields grow. The conversation was one of those deep introspective questions that make you think and ponder deep life questions and come to terms that nothing was going to be simple as we were both complex and interactive individuals. These are the conversations I seek to have and to know. These are the conversation that makes me feel full and whole. This conversation was the first of two that would change my life in less than 24 hours that would forever change how I saw coffee shops and how I would take my coffee.

The next day I frequented my regular spots and enjoyed my traditional cups of coffee. The conversations were simple and superficial, which was fine I was still full from the day before. As I got ready to go I ran into a friend, someone I loved and enjoyed talking with although at times the flames from his fiery passion are intense and hard for others to handle. Still, I think his opinions can be found to be a breath of fresh air in a time when everything is so politically correct. The old saying goes that you should never talk about religion, politics, and a few other topics because they often get off track quickly. There is an ongoing joke that is based on the nature of some conversations a two-minute timer should be set before it has to leave the bar and go to a table. This time by chance I had a conversation with my friend in the alley and as we stood there I couldn’t help but take in the environment.

The alley was dirty, I mean, after all, it was the alley. The garbage cans stunk, there was a can with cigarette butts in it and flies everywhere. You could look down the way and look out into the main happening to one of the main streets. The more we talked the more I enjoyed the conversation until I had to stop the conversation to say so. I explained that when you're having coffee and sit on the veranda you are on the mainstream of happening in life. when you are in the cafe you have to be considerate of others and acknowledge and keep things proper while tip towing or skirting various issues or topics, but we were in the alley, literally the fringe of society. There in the alley, there was no worry we could just simply have our conversation. Who were we going to offend? I was already offended by the smell of the garbage and the absurd amount of flies.

Finally, as our conversation came to a close and we went about our day I couldn’t help but think of the book “A brave new world.” The whole experience gave new enlightenment and thought to the idea of “identity in space.” Crazy to think that you don’t just have different conversations with different people but you can have different conversations within different spaces.

On a closing idea, there is a paint that exists that is so black and so absorbent of light that it tricks the eye. There is a video of a person that creates a room that is completely closable and then paints the entire space with said paint. The end result is a room that is very disorientating and absorbs light like a black hole. I wonder what the impact of such a space would have on a conversation. A space that is nothing, but at the same time a space that can seemingly be everything.

A hero's jounery. First chapter of a new book.

Everything started back in April of 2020 while on a road trip to Texas. This is when I begin the journey of going back to school. The idea was this would be my last hitch in the oil field. I was scheduled to work from April until October and start school in the spring semester. Virtually everything was ready to go up until the oil field went bust and I was sent home some four months early. I was in a tailspin about everything. What was I going to do and how was I going to make my dreams a reality.

In September of 2021 took a job in an industry that I was familiar with and had some experience in. I opted for the overnight shift because I knew that the position came with more money. I was looking to make as much money as possible considering the income that I used to have. I wanted this job and showed up several times showing that I was dedicated. This was a place that I believed in and believed had the opportunity, something that I still believe to this day.

I slowly started to put together my plans of going back to school and to my surprise found that I could finish my degree at my home university and finish what I started. The time frame was pushed back but the goal of going back to school had not been lost or forgotten. My first day of school now was scheduled for August 2021. The time in between has been a period of reflection and getting my head right and in the right space.

I knew as I know now that the next chapter isn’t just a chapter, but a whole new book altogether and the chapter is to be the first of what I like to call a hero’s journey. Why a hero’s journey? I knew that I would be putting myself into a situation that would and will push myself to the limits and then some. If I learned anything from the Anime TV show “My hero Acidamia” is “Go beyond.” I say to myself, “live your life unlike any other, make the commitment, and make the sacrifices so that you can know and live the life you have always wanted to.

Not only will I be working a job but I took on a second job to further my advances in the finical world. Again I am lucky to work at such an amazing establishment that allows me to do so. The ability to work seven days a week also allows me to live out another one of my dreams and follow in the footsteps of one of my heroes. In Japan, there is a philosophy known as Ikigai which means “finding Joy in life through purpose.” This philosophy includes various ideas and arranges them in a van diagram where at the center is purpose and meaning.

In order for all my ambitions, dreams, and goals everything had to be given meaning and purpose, but must also work together. I can not have any idea running independently or it would metaphorically intellectually starve. the circles to my van diagram consist of 1. Work 2. Work 3. Art 4. Japan 5.Mental and physical health and 6. Relationships of friends family loved one’s comrades and believers in me.

Work 1 and 2 would be there to support my endeavors and provide a living for me. Luckily work 2 will involve my passion for coffee.

I believe that everything in life including life is art. Expressing, understanding, learning, educating, thinking, and so forth are all art forms. I figured I would use art as a sort of glue in keeping everything together and a catalyst for growing each of the other ideas. Art will also allow me a new way to learn and to express that information. The goal is to go beyond the conventional elements of art that I know and go beyond. I have invested heavily into “film” as a form of art in hopes of going beyond expressionism and into the abstract. Film is also a way of documenting the journey and my development.

Japan is an idea that I hold as a value worth preserving. Japan to me means the history, the culture, the people, their language, and so much more. Japan changed me as a person and continues to change me and grow me. When I think of how open-minded I thought I was I think of how Japan taught me otherwise. There are ideas and a culture that I wish to know more about and understand as a way of understanding myself and life.

Mental and Physical is a no-brainer. In order to achieve everything let alone go down this precarious path, I must keep focus and my health. I have to keep my wits about myself and why I am doing all this let alone setting out in the first place.

Relationships are a must. We have already grown so distant from one another with the advent of technology and busy lives. Covid has pushed us further apart with isolation and social distancing. Differences among people have pushed people even further apart simply because of disagreements. I feel it is important to let those I care about know that I am thinking about them, that I am rooting them on, and that I care about their well-being. I am excited to share my journey with them my art, goals, and dreams in hopes that they might too be inspired and feel love and passion for their cause and goals. Nothing has changed in my slogan “Believe in me and my dreams and tell me your’s so that I can do the same for you.”

On a Friday night I sat there thinking in 96 hours everything will be decided and the countdown to March 16th, 2023 will begin. (The date on which I will have everything accomplished with school) I will have my second job, the artistic movement will be will have set sail and well underway. In truth, it took an additional 96 hours before everything came together to create the beginning chapter. Now everything else begins to fall into place like dominos.

Happiness is found in the in the inner voice of silence

There is a time in our lives that we all reach a certain point where we reflect on various aspects of the past for various reasons. I had the chance to do so just the other day when I ran into an old acquaintance that I hadn’t seen in over ten years. Before that, it had been seven. There was a time when I called this person friend, and then a time I knew this person to be an arch-nemesis. The reason for falling out is because we chose to follow different paths and established ourselves with different clicks. On a random Friday, I went to coffee, which was out of charter for me as I usually only make the rounds on the weekend. I ran into this old friend by chance at one of my favorite spots.

Time had changed us both. He was married with three kids getting ready to change jobs, and recently bought a new home. The whole experience was surreal and humbling as we sat there and caught up and talked heavily about comic books of all things, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles specifically. Beyond that, there wasn’t much of a conversation. Not only did I sit there and catch up with him, but I listened to the realities of those around me unfold and play out on the stage we were all sharing at the moment. Mind you, everyone in the play was all relatively the same age; the only thing that was different about us was that we were all in different places in life.

When I think of where we are in life, I often think of traffic. We are all getting somewhere in some vehicle. Sitting at a light watching other cars make it through the light before I was stopped, I thought it’s not that if I was any earlier or faster would I have made it through the light; I am just in a different place in traffic. Where it is I am going, I finish first in my own race.

After the humbling moment and after taking in all the subplots going on in and around me, I began to think of my own life and how happy I am that my life is where it is. There are times where I think to myself that I feel like Salvador Dali walking around with my anteater, believing that I am too abstract to fit in other than being a novelty. I begin to wonder what good reading a book about a talking cat did for me, and no, I am not talking about the Cheshire cat. I am referring to the cat in the master pice Masters and Margarita. There is a reality and happiness I found in life that is a blessing and a curse.

Often, I feel envious of others and what they seemingly have, but I am reminded that I am not them, and to have what they would mean that I would be them or I would like something similar to what they are in character and identity. I followed an interesting path in life, one that led me to do things that not many other people do or are interested in, and because of that, it has lead to the creation of a unique way of seeing, interpreting life, let alone living a life.

I found happiness and know how to express it uniquely. When I was in Japan, I was happy, excited, and full of awe and wondered about being there and experiencing everything. Every encounter was a joy, and the people I encountered picked up on that vibe reciprocated it. I wasn’t just another tourist; I was an embodiment of everything good a place has to offer. I walked around with my Canon Camera, my cat hat, and Yamoto class battleship T-Shirt. There was a magic to having no one know me or anything about me. There were no preconceived conceptions about me, no expectations, and there were certainly no expectations of myself. In that stillness and quietness, I could feel peace and could finally hear what my heart was telling me in that silence.

I remember walking down a street and hearing the voice turn here, stop do, get on this train, go with it, and I would end up exactly where I was supposed to be. On one occasion while In Kyoto, I got on the right train and had to backtrack some distance which took a reasonable amount of time. When I found the train I was looking for; I was skeptical about getting on as I didn’t want to waste any more time. I got on and got off several times before the train started up. At that time, I remember someone smiling, smirking, and laughing a bit at my silly antics. I had to laugh, too, until the voice just said, hey, go with it.

Finally, I got to where the Tori gates were and started my journey up the Mountain. When I begin these journies, I have no idea of where I am going, just a vague idea. I got some a ways up the mountain before deciding enough and that it was time to head back. A short moment later, this beautiful girl was calling to me. This was the same girl from the train. We started talking and decided to make a go of the day together. At that moment, I got to share some amazing things with her that were of my own “cup of tea” We went to a Starbucks that was typical of an Edo period experience. We meet up with some Korans whom we befriended and shared our most recent journies and experiences. Together we traveled the city exploring temples having dinner together. In Japan, it’s their culture to often give small gifts to someone for various reasons. Since the city of Kyoto is known as the city of foxes, I picked up several small plastic praying foxes from various vending machines found everywhere. I had two. Before we said goodbye, I handed her one and said that this is to remind her of the good day and the friendship that we had found, that she be safe and find magic on the rest of her journey.

That was a story that seemed to be right out of some novel but was, in fact, my story. The freedom to go anywhere and be me was unparalleled to anything I had ever felt or known before. There was no past, there was a future, but the presence was everything.

How often do we get caught up in the daily grind the daily beat of life? How often do we succumb to the rigid structure of a weekly schedule? And, how often do we allow ourselves to be affected by the play that is unfolding with all the plots and subplots along with their tones themes, and undertones? Very few times in life do we stop to hear the stillness that speaks to us. Often times the voice that speaks in silence is drowned out.

A friend made mention to me that the reason I felt this way was that I was on vacation, so of course I felt this way. I argued that when I am on vacation, more so when I am in Japan I have a vague idea of what I want to do and where I want to go but I really have no plans whatsoever. I am free of everything, free to follow the vibrant and positive energy around me. Most people on vacation are often stressed out because of having to make various connections and making sure they cram all the attractions into their short time. I know this was true when I was in France. The trip was non-stop go, go, go. Even so, I made sure to take some time for myself and found my own magic.

Ironically as I work on this blog I drift through my weekend and seemingly found the same magic I have been searching for and embodies that I am talking about yet is seemingly so hard to find. I woke early enough to catch the first coffee shop group at Starbucks but missed them. As I sat there for a while doing my thing a voice said it’s time to go. I packed up my things and headed to my next stop to see if my camera was in. While at the camera shop I contemplated buying a new camera. The 90D had not come in nor was it coming in any time soon. Instead decided on the EOS R6. The multitude of questions and witty banter brought me to come out of the store at exactly the right time in order to run into my friend from Turkey. I was afforded the brief moment of catching up with promises of catching up before she left back for Turkey in August.

After seeing my friend I went down to the Cafe that I frequent often and ran into an old friend who was also my boss when I worked in the oil field. We had one of those conversations that I often seek to find and have but often fall short of having. The conversation hinged on individual growth, and self-development as people since when we first meet. We talked about the importance of closure in life before we can move on from various aspects of life. I was so dumbfounded by the simple idea of closure that I began to think about the power of forgiveness as a way of moving on in life. I was also reminded of my uniqueness and my talents let alone my unique take on life. I challenged the conventional and pushed others to think outside their box during my time in the oil field and still do to this day in the everyday ordinary world. We positively fed oneanothers’s souls to go out into the world and spread, even more, Karama and happiness.

I was so moved by the day that I wanted to continue to move with the positive forces of life and share the magic I had found. My day wasn’t finished, there. While at the cafe I came across a Burlesque show that was to be played later that night. While attending I meet someone there that I had known somewhat but the way everything happened to me and to life I was saying, Yes. This is someone I want to know more about. This is someone who is a vibrant and joyful color in an already banal palette of colors whom I wanted to paint the world with and see how she could paint the world. That’s the magic about life, as an artist finding amazing people to help paint the portrait to life and to collaborate with on even bigger pictures and pieces.

When you stop hidding behind things and start hiding behind yourself and find your own voice.

I have thought about the idea of hiding behind people, things, past traumas and other ideas. I came up with the idea what happens when you stop hiding behind things and start hiding behind yourself. Is it really hiding behind something or is it truly finding your own voice and a way of being able to express yourself. I believe it is just that; finding your voice and discovering a way to uniquely express yourself.

There is a line in the movie spoken by Wally from the movie “Dinner with Andre,” “He could live in his art never in reality.” I feel that statement made couldn’t be more true about myself. I find that in art I can be anything and everything. I can have the conversations I have always wanted to and I can do the things I have always wanted to. Since Covid-19 happened it has been hard to find the magic in life that I knew once existed in the universe. Today that magic is even harder to find if at all.

I have some friends that I see on the weekend. Their friendship means the world to me. I am able to have conversations that I long to have about things other then the mundane. I think about the conversation that occurred in that movie. The only thing I can do is create the reality in which I wish to known and have.

After the recent events that have befallen me I need those conversations and that reality that exists seeming only in art now. There is a huge leap of faith and uncertainty in making this new form of art. Time, money being some of the biggest factors. I believe that this next step in the world of art is the next biggest thing. This form would tie in everything I have been working for and be the exact way in which I could express the ideas that I have struggled to for so long.

Not only is this idea a way of expressing ideas and conveying them but also a way of creating bridges with other people who share the same passion and ideas and yarn for a way of expression.

The goal here is to create a form of art that takes up where one form left off. I have this desire to express the notion that there are multiple dimensions to an individual and yet we only ever see one side. Often times we are only ever allowed to share one side of ourselves. Too often the depth and complexity of individuals is lost to the constant chaos around us of constantly reacting to situations rather than proactively acting. In photography I have been able to create multiple versions of myself. In Video I am able to create even more. I would be able to give life to the multiple versions that reside within myself, everyone for that matter. The ideas is being able to clone myself in post video production giving a voice.

The first idea is to express the complex dynamics having a version of my self being able to say what I think and feel without feeling guilty of being able to express myself. This is where I am able to hide behind myself and yet finding a voice and truly expressing myself. The big project that I have in mind is recreating a version of the very movies that inspire me.

I am reminded of the higher state of needs the top being self articulation, a place that might as well be a quaint cafe at the top of Mt. Everest. Only few climb that high and even fewer have something to say at the top of that mountain.

Bar Codes and shipping: Problems and Solutions

In 2021 everything has a barcode, seemingly humans as well. When you scan a bar code depending on the software and information in the system product information shows up. Yes, also included is basic information name and address. For example luggage at the airport. In my opinion the barcode is essential and pertinent when dealing with operating a business effectively and keeping everything highly orginazed.

When you introduce humans errors are to be expected at some point at some place. No one is perfect. That being said how many times have we lost a package or had it sent or delivered to the wrong address. What if we revamped the whole process differently.

Covid-19 has changed how we do business across the board. In some ways it has been beneficial and in other ways it has caused even more problems. The problem is that a lot of people have started working remotely. The problem in working remotely is that some business and administrations are no longer answering their phones only working via e-mail. You can imagine the headache when working with various departments and finding that your getting one email a day worth of information while competing with a deadline.

The upside to this is that we are able to do business seemingly more efficiently. Some business have worked things so that everything is done wireless with checks and various security measures. This form of conducting and doing business is fast easy and efficient. The problem is that when varying and confirming information much information is being left out. As mentioned above how often do we check to make sure our information is up to date and relevant. How often do we check to make sure that when we have something shipped we are actually going to get it sent to our current address. This is becoming a problem especially when we do business for single items that range well over $1,000.00.

When being asked to pay and then have a link sent to confirm and pay an additional link should be sent to confirm the shipping and receiving information. This system of confirming via a link absolves the business from making mistakes and further delaying the process. Lets say that a problem does occurs with the proper shipping address being an issue, and your package is being sent to the wrong address.

To resolve this there should be included the shipper and information to contact, the agency being utilized for shipping and the receiver themselves. The information regarding shipping and shipping instructions should also be included. All this information should be found when the barcode of the product along with a unique identifying code. This code can be used to make changes within the information of the bar code. Because each piece of luggage has to be scanned before being put onto a plane the same is true for a deliver person dropping off packages. If a change has occurred in the system then a flag will occur when it is scanned. At this time the package should be set aside and brought back to a hub for reshipping, or brought to an authorized agency for holding that can then be picked up at a later date and time.

There shouldn’t be a long process where no one knows what to do, not the Agency that places the order, the third party that ships the product, and the agency that is being used to ship the product it self. A streamlined system should be installed to assure that this problem wont be a common occurrence in the future.

All things change in a dynamic envriroment.

Ghost in the Shell conversation between Major and The Puppetmaster:

I want some guarantee that I will be myself.

There isn’t one. Why would you want to? All things change in a dynamic environment. Your efforts to remain what you is what limits you.

Every time I find myself not wanting to do something or when I feel anxious about change, this conversation comes up in my life. I first think what the benefits are of retaining who I currently am. Secondly, I ask what it is that I attempt to remain. I answer the first question with a precarious statement; I collect ideas that I hold as values worth preserving. Fair to say that I am also a collection of ideas that I don’t necessarily hold as values worth preserving but are a part of me just the same. For the most part, I have to admit that the ideas that I choose to hold as values worth preserving have been beneficial to me in life. Often I am allowed to look at life in retrospect and be glad about how things turned out. I think that to have been a part of this or that or to be with this person or that person would mean that I would not be the person I am today. Knowing the things I do far outways the emotional comfort of satisfying emotional needs and feeding my intellect. When it comes to change, reevaluating these ideas is easy. Often the ideas talk about change within themselves. The problem occurs when it’s the ideas that I don’t hold as values that I have a hard time dealing with and making sense of.

We are as much a product of our environment as we are our naturing. We absorb learned behaviors and learned thinking until we reflect, the environment and environmental nature. When we attempt to change, we go back to that idea of “I want some guarantee that I will be myself.” We clammer to the things we know, comforting or fragile sense of self with something familiar. Often we return to the places and things we never thought we would return. In many, not all cases, people get caught up in a cycle of chaos and never have the chance to self-actualize or become self-aware, for they are too busy attempting to keep their life “Together.” Even in chaos, people can find a sense of peace and solitude. Only when the Merry-go-round stops and the music dies down, and people are left with their thoughts do they actually realize the silence is deafening to too much to handle. A vase intended to hold a beautiful bouquet really only holds onto the illusion.

When I feel that I feel I should be feeling that I should be feeling, I reminded myself of this conversation and why I ask myself. Why am I having these feelings, and what good does holding onto them in how and what I do for me? Secondly, I have to ask, is feeling and thinking how I am even conducive to the things I am trying to accomplish and the person I am trying to become. I have to remind myself that my path is precarious and different from anyone else’s. I am not competing for the same things or to be the same as everyone else. In those moments, the ideas that I hold onto comfort me knowing that there is more to life than meets the eye.

The thing about breaking from the idea of attempting to remain who you are and becoming something new isn’t something that everyone will understand. Not only will the adventure and journey change you, but it will change everyone around you to some degree. At times the journey can be lonely and seemingly fruitless, but Rome wasn’t built in a day, and the things you attempt are often only done by your own hand. You can not lose faith in your dream journey and the things you know to be true.

At sea, the Akagi is free to sail in any direction.

You cant move through life faster than a cherry blossom falls.

May a divine wind blow and fill my sails, carrying me to new beginnings.

The apocolopse of snow comith: March Edition.

The month of March is a lot of things for me. In 2013 I went to France and explored a world abroad. On the last day in France, we explored Chantilly, only we experienced France in a way few people ever do, in snow. We were all glad that we were flying Icelandic Air as we figured that they were more experienced flying in and out of a snow-ridden country. In 2018 I was in the oil field at my first frack having no idea as to what was going on. On the last day of the frack the weather changed for the worse spite it being beautiful the entire time I was there. This was the first time I got to try out actually work clothes and put them to the test. A year later I was in Pa. experiencing a spring winter of the East Coast.

Now we can add to this spring winterwonderland story: apoclopse snow. The snow storm of March 13,14,15,and 16 has wrecked havoc on the town leaving people to dig out only to be snowed back in. It’s a cruel joke to tell the truth. I dug my car out and even brushed it off. After servaying the parking lot to my apartment complex only to find that there was no places that would be available to park once I returned. There was only two other spots that were even remotely available, and even then they were questionable.

I ended up walking to work by choice. There is something to be said about being able to walk to places regardless of what is going on in and around you. At 4 am in the morning during the snowstorm that makes history is quite the experience. The feeling is rather erie and ominous leaving home into the void. With the highways shut down and the no one out you have plenty of time to think and ponder about life.

Of course walking in the dark this early in the morning I was safe and made sure to stay safe. I clipped my red light on the back of my backpack and wore a green beacon light on the front of me. This was so that I was visible to oncoming and passing traffic. A 53 minuet trip took me an hours and 20 minuets. The amount of strength and effort that it took on me was something more then I had felt in a long time. Amidst everything I made points with everyone showing that there is no reason why you can’t overcome and accomplish.

Be careful where you find answeres

Just the other day, I posted a cheeky post on one of my social media accounts that talked about the vaccines that were starting to roll out in response to pandemics. The post generalized my understanding as it has been explained to me on several occasions. I surmised that your DNA was unzipped code entered and rewriting the DNA to be covid resistant. This idea is something that I have heard of before on the TV show Batman Beyond wherein in several of the episodes, kids were experimenting with gene splicing with animals. These new hybrid humans were known as splices. I followed up my post by asking if the people who got the vaccine technically make them splices.

I imagined that someone would say something, but I wasn’t expecting the response my post solicited. There was a link to a youtube video describing the process and explaining anything that wasn’t clear or to clear up any misconceptions in the response.

I deleted my post to spread misinformation or lead others astray, but the post and response got me thinking. A few years ago, there was a huge campaign regarding false news and the idea of fact-checking, let alone sponsored media. The second thing I thought is who funded this youtube channel got me thinking about who is writing the script and what agenda this message has. I feel that neither one of us are correct, and neither one of us are wrong.

I am not a scientist, nor is anyone I know of that is close enough to say that I trust their opinion. Everything I know about the pandemic is having someone; usually a professional, tell me what I need to know. Even news is portrayed with an opinion and an agenda. This argument is starting to feel reminiscent of André’s conversation with Wally about the man with the acorn. For most people, accepting being told what is and isn’t is good enough, and why shouldn’t it be? Most people never question the reality; they follow right along, but the truth is in the linear logic that begins to unravel for those who pay attention. Those who watch the unraveling are left to wonder why you would continue to put your faith and trust in an organization or at least not question everything when you have at times been lied to or deceived; if not to us, then to the world.

I think back to another cheeky post I made some time ago that talks about the truth. The post depicts Joseph Gorrbles saying to his cohorts referencing the news and saying that’s some good propaganda. Later at the party, one of Görrbles closer friends comes and askes him privately whats the real truth to which Görrbles responds I don’t even know anymore.

The old statement is true because people only understand based on their experience; should they lack that experience, then an experience must be provided or created for them, or at least a framework where such ideas can be made understandable, when you think about a whole world created for people to operate in, along with ready-made problems and solutions.

If anything, the entire argument reinforces ideas that I already knew. When someone isn’t familiar with a subject or field, fear can cause people to act irrational and leave them looking for answers. Just be careful whom you find the answers from and what form they come in. Most importantly, trust no one.

Supporting your friend in the things they love

One thing in life that makes me utterly happy is seeing my friends happy. Not all the times do I like what they are into but, that doesn't matter. What is important is that I get to share what they are about and who they are. A master craftsman with 1001 talents seemingly found his place after thinking there wasn't one or that there was no one else out there like him to share his passion.

I didn't tell him I would be showing up at his venue; I just did. I know he was surprised that I showed up, but I wouldn't have missed it for anything. I supported my friend, just like he was there to support me when I had my art show. I love our friendship and cherish the time we spend creating or watching the master at work.

There have been times when years have passed by, and we still manage to connect and catch up as if no time at all has passed. Though we share some interests and some interests, we do not, as artists, we can appreciate each other's work and talents. For me, as a friend, it's essential to find a way to bridge that gap and share with him a form of his craft. The first thing that comes to mind is that Period in Japanese culture known as Edo.

What happens when you don't work out properly

I have this friend that is a health nut in the most positive way possible. Every day she is up before the sun and out in her studio meeting her daily goals. My friend is there every step of the way with her team, supporting and encouraging them. From time to time, my friend opens up and admits that she's not perfect, that she gets down, has her off days. Talk about a genuinely humble and sincere individual. She pushes herself to the limits for herself and her team, but she also sets a fantastic and excellent example for her family and friends who know her. To me, she is one of my heroes. I admire her hard work and her effort giving everything she puts her mind to 100%. I have the goal of being afforded to work out with her someday and perform some of my signature workouts; more than that, I hope to share in person the elementary goal of achieving a particular dance that would showcase all my hard work and accomplishments.

I attend the gym regularly and work out. I also live a modest life, not taking chances like snowboarding or skiing. I try not to do things that are out of the norm of my abilities as I need my body to work to go to work and collect a paycheck. However, living a safe life doesn't mean not going to get hurt. I woke up the other morning with a stiff neck after sleeping wrong. To make things worse, I had changed up my routine while swimming. As if to add insult to injury, I went to my friends' house, an avid knife maker and thrower. We talked about some of the dynamics and mechanics that go into throwing in various styles.

He found my throw unique because I flung the knife as if coming from an upward swing. I mentioned that I threw in the manner that I did because it hurt my shoulder far less. Side note, I injured both shoulders badly when I was in the oil field. The old saying about the oil field is right, "It's a young man's game."

The next morning I was in severe pain. Everything added to a major twist in my back that caused my neck, shoulder, and back to hurt. I did some research regarding my back and shoulder but didn't find any reassuring information. Monday, a week later, I broke down and went to the doctor. The Doc didn't have to tell me that I was tense; I could already feel it. To help with the muscle pain and to relax it, the doctor prescribed two medications. Several days since I went to the Doc I still have pain and aches in the areas relating to my back and neck.

As for doing anything lately, it's been miserable. Either I am too tired from not sleeping, or my back hurts and prevents me from moving. Sure being laid up is frustrating, but it's also a moment in which I can reflect. The first thing that comes to mind is, "A willow branch doesn't break in the wind but sways." This experience has told me to slow down and focus on the core elements and build from there, namely stretching.

I admit I have taken my body for granted expecting it to work, sort of like how I wish my car to start and go every time, even in the negative temperatures of winter. Even in winter, I start my car and let it idle for a minute allowing for the engine and critical components to work correctly. We take for granted that we forget that our head weighs the same as a gallon of water; that the muscles I mentioned are what keeps it stable and stabilizes as we move and operate.

I can remember another time when I overworked my back muscles to the point that they ended up pinching nerves in my back, resulting in me losing complete control of my legs and my ability to walk. It took weeks before I could walk again without any noticeable pain.

For not, I am taking things slowly as I recover and heal. In the meantime, I am focusing on stretching, eating right, and planning my grand comeback to the gym. Only this time, I will be approaching the idea of working out very differently. I am not in a race with anyone, only on a journey of wellness and happiness.

I would say to my friend this: as hard as you go, make sure to always talk about the next stage of training and iron out the dynamics and groups of muscles that the body requires to accomplish new goals. Time and time again, I have seen people work out and stay healthy randomly suffer from what I have been talking about all because they allowed the simple details to escape them.

Please stay safe and stay healthy, my friends.

Lines and standing in them

Just the other day, I was standing in line waiting for my laté at one of those cheeky cafes found inside many retail stores when I noticed a sign. The sign read, "if this line is at capacity, please check back when another social distancing spot opens up." I had experienced this sort of phenomenon when I was at the L.A. Anime Expo in 2018 and 2019. In 2019, for the four days, 350,000 people descended on the L.A. Convention Center for the annual Anime Expo. Not only were there lines to get into the main convention center, but once inside, there were even more lines to contend with and navigate. The main hall hosted booths and vendors selling every kind of merchandise, from pre-release to ultra-rare limited edition robots and action figures. Some vendors set up complete stores with their own separate entrance from the main convention.

I remember my first time attempting to get in line. There would be someone standing there with a sign telling everyone that the line was capped that people should come back when the line became uncapped. The only problem was that you couldn't wait around nearby until the waiting-line opened. At first, this was attempted but was quickly squashed due to the number of people starting to hang out. I pretended to be shopping nearby, and after several failed attempts, I managed to get in line, to wait another 2.5 hours in line to get inside to find that most everything was already gone. That year I also experienced lines that started where they ended, stretching over one and a half. I could step out of my hotel and step into line. The line weaved back and forth, around the Staples building and down several streets. At one point in the convention, I stopped to look out and take in the crowd. I felt terrible for the people who had taken the time to dress up only to stand in the warm sun for what seemed to some an eternity. I had made plans from my 2018 adventure to get in and go right to my booths before lines of buyers filled and capped the lines. Even with a plan, I was still stuck waiting, but this time I didn't have to wait seemingly forever.

If Covid-19 is sticking around, then how we conduct business and present ourselves has changed everything regarding our sphere of influence. If the line now can only handle 3/4 of what it used to, then it's fair to say that profits have been cut by 1/4 as well. For example, if a business was making a go of it by maximizing everything they could to serve as many customers as they could in a specific time frame and are now told that they have to practice social distancing and have to reduce the number of people that can be in the same room then to obtain the exact numbers something has to be done. Either they; one, the company has to evolve to meet the changing environment and society. What this means is they have to increase their operating hours to be able to service all the customers and cut the time it takes to service and helps customers to not only make the same margin but to increase the income, for now, additional overhead that is spent in keeping the business open and going where it would otherwise close.

Lego's and toys

Lego’s is one of those toys that virtually every kid knows about or of. Around for seemingly ever Lego’s have had an impact on kids and adults alike and still do to this day. Lego are unlike any other toy out there when it comes to playing. The uniqueness comes from not conforming to any one form of play. The tiny plastic bricks combined together to create even grander toys. Lego’s create an opportunity in the form of expression and imagination. Not conforming to one idea, one genre in the world of lego it’s possible to be anything and everything. If something doesn’t exist then it can be created out of bricks leaving the only limit is one’s imagination.

When I was in college I did a study on the benefits of playing with toys at any age. The simple interaction of playing with toys can take away stress and allow someone to reconnect with the simpler aspects of life. Often we get so caught up in the drama of the day to day life that we start missing out and losing our minds over small ideas. Sure we form hobbies in the form of hunting fishing boating, but how often do we engage our imagination.

Growing up it almost seems that there is no place for imagination or the world of fantasy that toys seemingly offers, especially the world of Legos. Most people subscribe themselves to the humdrum misery of the daily beat without giving anything beyond the chaotic moment. That is until someone is done with reality and in search of something much more, something that only the recesses of the imagination hold. Almost like a secret of rediscovering life once again. With that magic, I hope to find new beginnings and new ideas about living and being.

I am sort of taking a break from reality the mainstream version of it and focusing on myself and life to make for a better quality of life. In doing so I purchased some legos, some starwards, some notes. But in the lego world, you can have things like Shakespeare talk and have conversations with Alice from her adventures, or to French baker and his cute little dog.

That being said I wondered what might the conversations be amongst various characters and various individuals. What might everyone learn, what might I learn from such imaginary conversations. Another set I picked up was a set from the Lego Ideas series depicting steamboat willy aka Mickey and Mini Mouse. What a better way of telling one story and character development than a rendition of the movie Apocolopyse now. I choose this movie to capture the depth and vibrant characteristics of reality.

I am excited to bring about a chapter relating to the amazing world of toys. I also want to showcase my collections and toys I intend to collect here in the near future. Stay Tuned for the toys to come.

Un-had conversations

I often spend time thinking about friendship, and what it means to be friends on a lot of different levels. Lately, the thought that has gone through my mind is a friend is someone who calls another person up just to see how they are doing, and what they have been up to, and for some reason what their favorite color is. I also like the idea that a friend is someone you can share your thoughts and ideas with because you cherish their insight, their point of view, feeling that their answer will lead you to the next big discovery or bridge an already though idea together. I love the movie Diner with André for this exact idea. Not only does it have all the elements I’m talking about it also examines the inherent flaws in that idea. The flaw of not finding what you were looking for. Instead of finding answers, you were left with even more questions.

My current art piece that I am doing for recreation is one that I am thoroughly enjoying. Not only does it depict friends and acquaintances, after struggling with an idea for the background I decided to go with an idea that gabby did. In the background rather than there being one image, there shall be several. Tokyo Capsule Tower, The 1:1 Gundam, The Blue Mosque, Along with several other artists including myself. The ability to have everyone together will be amazing and sparks my curiosity as to what would those conversation be life and how would they go.

I suppose that these conversations could be called the un-had conversations. Stay Tuned for un-had conversations.

The chance coincidence of serendipity.

There are some things, events, and circumstances I don't attempt to make sense. Instead, I allow life to unfold as it may and follow it like following a current. In life, this philosophy has not only served me well but revealed a particular sort of magic to life that not everyone experiences or ever comes to know. One could go so far as to say that life in its moments is very serendipitous. Most often, this feeling, this instinct comes when I'm alone and seemingly tuning into the frequency of the universe, nature, and life along with other people resonating on the same frequency.

I believe and know to be true that all things resonate at a specific frequency. That is why if you move quickly enough, you can phase through a brick wall, at least in theory. None the less all things resonate on a frequency, vibrating, a moment in the process. Furthermore, I bleve all things connected; and can be reached by matching oneself to the same frequency, but instead of listening, either we tune out altogether, or people intentionally tune out to hear and believe what they want to.

The best example of following the natural resonance of the universe and good people is when I was in Kyoto in the summer of 2019. I had nowhere to be and no time frame in which I had to follow. Where ever I was, I was there. On several occasions, a voice of some sort said turn here, go there, and by doing this, I found myself at the very heart of the moment that was seeming made and crafted for me. I couldn't ask for a more fantastic time or happening then what I found when I let go and went with the current.

I would have to add that understanding the idea that all things resonate at a frequency and that all people, places, and things in life are connected is an idea that no one ever thinks or considers. When we learn to connect to the universe and tune in, we unlock unlimited potential and opportunity in the world around us and beyond. Too often, we get caught up in the distortion white noise of life that we rarely listen to anything, let alone anyone around us. The natural resonance is replaced by a chaotic vibration that begins to take its toll on our psyche and our mental health, taking a toll on our physical health. Keeping up with life and reality is as impossible as attempting to be yourself without getting caught up in the crossfire of reality.

You can begin to push yourself so hard that you start to feel drunk without ever taking a sip of alcohol. The world around you starts to become distorted into a warped sense of reality. During this time, you allow yourself to naturally check out as your body starts to reconnect at a base level of living and to be.

I admit I am no saint and am not immune to falling into the trap of reality. Currently, I attempt to have right wronged to the extent of losing myself even further to a reality that is as foreign to me as is the idea of becoming established in the reality in which I fight against, and for a good reason. I rely heavily on tuning in and allowing the natural frequency, which I have mentioned before, to guide me to where I am supposed to be, along with my focus as to detail that reality with my interests and personality.

The joy of changing a tire

There have been countless jokes made about the ability of a man to make a tire. I learned quickly in the oil field, changing tiers on truck trailers and heavy equipment was a way of life. The ability to change tires became so routine that I felt we could compete with racecar drivers in the pits, but that was work, and I am no longer in the oil field. I drive a nice Cadillac that requires lots of work and maintenance to run correctly and effectively. The cost of maintaining a vehicle is a small fortune. Still, it is necessary, considering that there is neither an effective public transit in place that accommodates the economy nor enough funding to support one.

The importance of making it to your job is unparalleled. Especially considering the events of 2020, with most of the country suffering from employment, and the rest struggling to keep their door open. When a flat tire strikes out of nowhere, it can be a recipe for disaster.

Even before I got off from work, my coworker told me that I had a flat tire, not the news I wanted to hear after working all night. I just recently bought new tires and new rims. My old tires needed replacing, and the rims were starting to leak around the bead. I got some nice rims that were black and reasonably stylish. I didn't consider that one; I needed a 7/32 Allen wrench to get the hub cap off, and secondly, I didn't have the proper socket set to take the lug nuts off because I needed the unique key and an adaptor.

I first started by getting an Allen wrench and getting the hub cap off and then my donut out and aired up. My coworkers offered help until finally, the head maintenance guy showed up, and I was forever grateful. Not only did he have a jack, but an impact gun and socket set. I also managed to find the key in my car, which was impressive, considering at first I didn't even know I needed it.

The next big obstacle was jacking the car up. Anyone who owns a Caddie knows how low to the ground they ride, and with a flat tire, the vehicle sat even lower. To get the car up in the air high enough, we had to reposition the jack and use three 2x4s before we had clearance. Finally, we managed to overcome everything and get the donut onto the car.

As I was at the tire shop getting my tire fixed, I decided to do what I had intended to do long before and adequately prepare. Before leaving, I ordered a tire and a new rim to stand in as a spare with the backup donut being a back up to the backup. After the tire stop, I went to the hardware shop and purchased a battery for my impact drill and a socket to hold the lug nut key. With the jack already included in my car, I have a fantastic set up ready to change a tire effectively.

Nothing is worse than spending downtime on something you would rather not be doing. Altogether, I spent over an hour with the tire problem. When I want to get a second job, I know how I can't have these setbacks.

The important take away is being ready for the unknown circumstances and having the proper tools and proper knowledge.

Believing something is there when theres really nothing there at all.

Most of the time we spend in life is superficial and wasted on meaningless, mundane things to get ahead or to hold are heads above water.  The most significant superficial waste of time occurs when we fool ourselves into thinking we share a friendship or a relationship with someone or someone’s only to find our relationship was biased on something completely arbitrary.  After the events and time together has expired we quickly become distant and eventually become once again strangers.  We mistake the time we spend together for something more because we laugh, we share details about our lives, and form an understanding of our cirumstances and build a comradery but lack any real depth or feelings for one another.

I talked about what friendship means along with what loving someone means.  When applied to this argument I think to myself how many times have I experienced true friendship.  How many people consider me a real friend and how many people do I consider to my true friend.  The most haunting question to me is how many people do I consider close to me but are actually complete strangers; and what quality of life is that?  The other haunting thought is out of the many lives I know how many friendships exists because I refuse to let go of the idea.

I think this this is why relationships fail after a certain period of time.  After a certain period of time it would seem that the superficial nature isn’t enough to carry the relationship or to propel it to the next stage or the next level; unless the individuals are just that superficial that they actually make it work, that or are a compromise is struck.  This however fuels another argument.  The compromise leads to one individual living a lie within themselves.  From first-hand accounts I have watched people get married who have yet to understand fully the depth and complexity of themselves let alone finish selling their wild oats.  This behavior causes one side to start living a lie within themselves; anyone pure and true who threatens the fragile idea of their relationship becomes a threat.

For the most part people will never delve deeper into the philosophies of life, and instead accept everything at face value.  A person can die on the inside attempting to keep an idea alive at the extent of reality crushing them.  Enlightened individuals are able to set aside differences and see through the façade as to see the genuine in others regardless of their own shortcomings.  We should never forget why we choose to go down the road in the first place.  If we always expected something in return, then we would be severely disappointed. At the same time, we should never let ourselves be treated less then we deserve.  People might now always reach us on our level but we should pay the resect to others as much as we expect to treated.  We change the world not by changing the world but by changing the world of one individual at a time; being there, genuine and honestly. 

As my life begins to evolve and take on new meaning I ready myself to let go of the ideas I have held on to in order to get ready for the next great leap forward.  I finally have school sorted out along with a new job, or I should say jobs.  I got to admit I am going to be busy, busy, busy. I also started seeing an amazing woman.  To balance life, I must let go and allow life to take me where I need to be and where I need to go.  I have two more piece of art to finish before the great beginning starting January 20th, 2020 with the start of the spring semester.  I also plan to focus in on my Japanese study of the language as it is my goal to pass the JLPT.  Lots of goals ambitions and dreams to be had with plenty of time to make them a reality in the fourth quarter and in the new year.

The depth of friendship

You would think the ability to make a genuine human connection would be possible. Still, with the recent events that have conspired in the world with technology and COVID- 19 with its social distancing policy, that idea is near impossible. I base this on the idea of connecting with people and taking into consideration their circumstances based on my experiences. I also consider what I am trying to accomplish here regarding a relationship and a conversation as I try to navigate it. My thoughts center on the now-iconic movie "My Dinner with André and the conversation that took place there.

The movie centers around two friends André and Wally, two theater actors and play-writes who became estranged from one another. After finally Accepting André's invitation to get together, the two finally meet up at a fancy New York restaurant where André began to tell of his life-changing experience. Before the conversation ever took place, Wally had heard several things about his friend and how he might have been suffering from a mental break down or mental illness. Wally had preconceived ideas that he was going into a dinner where he had to provide some insight as if to help his friend somehow, but by the end of the conversation would find that he was the one that received the help.

Andre starts by describing a random circumstance that led him down a road of enlightenment and self-discovery by letting go and running with it. André, a reasonably well-off family man with the help of his theater connections, met extraordinary people and experienced just as unique events and happenings, which ultimately changed him forever. The story that unfolds between the two of them becomes an existential look at life and on life. Not only do the two friends develop a comprehensive philosophy but even raise philosophical questions and problems but attempt to answer them.

The conversation works for two reasons. Both have the knowledge, awareness, and intellect to discuss such in-depth ideas and topics in the first place, and secondly, they have a common ground to build the framework of their discussion. The conversation and images are only so grand that they can only take place in the time it takes to have dinner. Wally can't spend any more novel time dedicated to such whimsical notions as his humdrum life is already waiting on him. As the film grows to a close, André succeeds in having his friend see a new way of thinking but is unsuccessful in changing the core way in which his friend functions. Yes, Wally leaves and looks at the city in a new way, maybe for the first time, but is unchanged by the conversation. Wally states how idealistic everything that André has mentioned but suggests how impractical his way of thinking is.

One of my last posts touched on people's lives and their lies in how the truth in original people has no place in others' lies. If that weren't enough, if I never reached out to my friends, then I would never hear back. I know that some people are neck-deep in keeping their reality together or working to maintain. I know people have kids, move on in life, and go to jobs to pay their bills, but the old saying goes, you will have time for the essential things.

I just reached out to a friend via texting because we had never really been a friendship that called one another. Throughout our acquaintance, we got together several times and had a wonderful time catching up. Now, that friendship has come down to a handful of texts—two that they could respond to and one that would just be left. I sort of feel like André with incredible ideas regarding life but no one to share. Even when I rose to the occasion to see my friend halfway around the world, the conversation regarding art ideas fell short of its mark. I still want to have those conversations with them and many other individuals, and rather than be upset or frustrated, I think to my self what a fantastic opportunity.

Just because people may not react in the ways I wish doesn't mean that I don't still impact them in some profound way. What André didn't see that the viewers did is that Wally wasn't the same after the conversation. As soon as Wally got home, he began to tell the conversation to his girlfriend with no doubt of adding his one ideas and philosophies. People may not react to my ideas and thoughts in the way I would like them to, but that doesn't mean that my argument and understanding is made less in any way. I will continue to work on my thoughts and ideas, and I will continue to share them with everything I have. I do this because I care about my friends and care about what their thoughts are and how they think and what their take is on the world.

Lastly, when you talk about changing the world, you begin by changing one person at a time. You do this by being genuinely true to yourself, and the best friend you can be by letting them know you care about their thoughts and feelings on the world and the world. Because through them, you too evolve. I'll be honest. I have no time or place in fake people's lives and if that means that my circle of friends grows smaller, then so be it.

Another new chapter in life

I put my entire self into my hopes dreams and goals, and I put my faith in making them a reality in a higher power. I do my best to put out positive karma or to simply not think or entertain negative thoughts as that is not the energy I wish to put out into the universe. The ability to put negative energy out into the world only brings back more chaos drama and discord. I often have to remind myself that I work on making my dreams a reality on a greater level. I go on to tell myself that everything is connected, everything resonates on a frequency and it’s merely a matter of tuning in and being heard as much as it is listening. When I heard from my friend the other day that she had my piece of art ready for me I was ecstatic. I would have the chance to catch up in November along with being able to share some of my own artwork with my friend that by the time I see them will be well over a year. If that wasn’t enough shortly after talking to my friend half way around the world another friend got hold of me wanting to go to breakfast or coffee. I couldn’t go at that exact moment as I was in the process of making finial arrangements for my new job, but after we went and had a nice brunch down town. We caught up in the short time that it took to eat our breakfast leaving me glad I was returning to my life. I had an amazing start to my day and was left with a positive feeling of the things that were coming my way. I started the day after hearing from my friends and less then a week the wonderful girl I had been talking to took a turn for a more serious relationship. My life it would seem is coming together in some ways that I hadn’t imagined or ever thought would manifest and yet here we are.

I have grand goals for the future of this page. I am just about ready to finish the back side of the album. The cover being the display for the A.A.A.B.M. Along with the cover being finished I would like to get FR hoodies made with the A.A.A.B.M. written down the side of the sleeve. Also I would like to get a hat made up along with a box that I saw at Fed Ex. Apparently you can have your logel or image printed onto a box. I thought how cool would it be if I were to put together a box of stuff that was all geared towards art and sponsorship of the movement.

As for the summer of 2021 I would not only like to go back to Japan but I would also like to host an art show downtown at a gallery downtown that I am particular fond of. I would like to feature my art work that I have bought from my friend from Turkey. My thoughts are having the Elements of Istanbul along with some of my other pictures from Japan featured and have the show depict Elements of the World. I think it would be amazing to tell a story other then what is going on in the world right now. Other pieces that I would like to include would be the recent pieces I have been working on, such as the women from the subway in super large form.

The biggest goal would be to get to Japan for a long period of time and not only take my girlfriend but to also offer a residency to my friend. I went and visited her in her element and I would love for her to come and visit me in mine. On the list of places to see Tokyo, and Kyoto a super must. I regret that I had to cancel my trip for march and again I am having to cancel my trip in October. This cancellation is only temporary and affords me the time to save money to make this the most amazing trip ever. When I consider what I am trying to make this next trip into I suppose it should come as no surprise that it keeps getting put off.

As another component to the art movement I am intending on creating AMR Studios dedicated to film and video-blogging. For that I will need a new camera, phone, and lap top. A lap top to do the video editing at the level and intensity that I imagine is nothing short of small fortune. The camera will shoot in 4k and a new phone is just as essiensuale. When you think that a cell phone isn’t just a phone anymore but a way of connecting to the world instantly its an asset all in it’s own. The memes that show all the gadgets that a modern cell phone is unreal. I know from experience my phone has become a tool unparalleled in my driver forward.

The Rittenour hour will be a four segment installment where I talk about various aspects of the different generas and topics I wish to cover. A pod cast of some sort in the distant future along with interviews with other inspirational figures and individuals. This is still in it’s infancy considering that I still have to figure out a studio and start writing scripts. The art of comics has helped when it comes to figuring out a story line.

As for now the goal is to make money and regroup financially and move forward wisely. With the oil field taking a nose dive like it did and then Covid-19 after getting laid off I decided on making a change in industry to ones that would always be there or were at least and still open when everything else shut down. As of now I got my first job and loving the experience and wealth of knowledge. The greatest part of it all is the fact that I am doing grave yards, 10 PM- 6AM. Switching from days and being off for over three months its been quite a shock to the system. I am just not starting to adjust to the turn around just in time to kick things up again. I have an interview Wednesday after work for a second job.

Wish me luck.

I love my friends.

When a friend has to lie about the fact that a friend did nice things for them to preserve what’s left of their fragile reality in order to prevent more chaos in their world that’s sad.  When a friend tells you that you can no longer interact with them and leave positive comments or do nice things for them because it interfered with their life and caused drama in their fragile reality.  

When a friend calls you and catches up for hours and ends the conversation by threatening you that if anyone finds out about the conversation they will burn you and have to power to do so this is also sad.  

And when I take up my new path my load in life will be lightened as I will not entertain such childish behavior nor do I worry about your opinion and my circle of friends will grow smaller.  

When I say I love you to my friends it’s not that I want to peruse a romantic relationship or have other intentions.  Love is; wanting to see others achieve their dreams, that they are genuinely happy in life, that they are safe and never experience calamity, that their life is full and rewarding, that they get to know and see the beauties of the world as I have come to know many of them.  Love is the thankfulness that you get to be apart of their life and know their happiness and attempt to be there in downtrodden times as a smile and someone always rooting them on.   

As a friend, there is no greater feeling than being apart of someone’s life genuinely in spirit and in shared random moments of life.  As a friend, I never have to worry about being something I’m not as there are no expectations nor worry about complicating things.  

As a friend, I get to genuinely share my world and vise versa with people who may not always find what your interested in as fascinating as you do but know you enough on how to reach out in meaningful and poignant ways at random and clever moments.  

These are ideas that I hold as values worth preserving.  And so when I let go of your hand and you retort why I tell you.  You have besmirched the grand ideas of love and friendship defining them in a strange way that allows only abstract notions acceptable.  Maybe I’m wrong but I can not go on being anything more then I am or something I’m not.

I traveled halfway around the world so that I could be apart of my friend’s world and to walk a day in her shoes. I wanted nothing more than to asker her questions regarding art and life. I rose to the occasion and went to her and put forth effort in truly and genuinely being apart of her life. I not only got to have my conversation but I got to have it over a glass of wine along with one of her amazing friendships. Beyond my wildest expectations, I also got to go to the gallery and see it before it opened along with a nice luncheon. Leaving was not easy, but I was thankful for the time that I got to spend with her. We still get together to this day and catch up and share what we have been working on artistically.

Rethinking life after oil

As I left Texas early the morning of June 8th I knew that this would be my last time in Texas working in the oil fields. I couldn’t help but stop thinking about the song get together. As I drove down the street the music played out in my mind paying as background music to my thoughts. I was one of the very first people who arrived for work to come. Rumors had turned into reality with the promise of more work then we knew what to do with. In the days leading up, I was able to secure myself a nice position to honker down for what I thought would be six months of work. In reality, I left a month and a half into my hitch. There were a lot of contributing factors going into a seemingly perfect storm that eventually led me to come home so early. I had lost a personal friend who succumbed to conditions that were out of our control, passing in the night doing what he loved most.

The desert and camp X-ray was a place that pushed you to your limits and then some. I watched grown men break down and fall to their knees crying over their personal lives go on and on. At one point a former boss pulled me aside and told me how proud he was of me for outlasting and managing to overcome so much. I did endure a lot and had to overcome much. Dealing with people was the hardest. The job brought people from all over the world and from all walks of life. For the most part, I made some amazing friends and people. Overall I came out of the oil field with a new and profound respect for driving in the winter and working outside in the elements.

Now my time away from has been used to get back to being myself. I gave up so much of my time for a job, but in return got to do things that I never imagined I would do in my life. The job and work gave me the opportunity to not only do amazing things but to go above and beyond making 2019 one of the best years of my life. When you think about it people do trips here and there but it would seem that the magic that they displace and shine into the world only takes them so far.

The idea of getting back to my life, my dreams, and my direction has been my top priority. I have put a considerable amount of time into making The A.A.A.B.M. that much more real. Nothing makes me happier than seeing it take off, almost like standing back from a painting or picture and taking it all in. Having been gone for so long and without taking the time to plan months in advance planning something for the next day was not an easy task especially when your often out of state working. I know this as I tried to entertain several relationships but to no avail. In any case, I made some more amazing friends and people that I am glad to have in my life. But, with getting back to my life so too was getting back to the reality of what I had missed out on for the most part. The girl whom I was interested in had already met someone and was now living with them. And the girl I dated seeing her every day was extremely hard.

Getting to see my friend live a life of luxuries and excitement hit me pretty hard especially seeing her get to fly around in her boyfriend’s plane. The feeling was only fleeting, and the thought has become a constantly evolving one at that. My plans and dreams have only begun and continue to grow. I admit that I had a rough spat there but I am back. I figured things out and put the rest into preservative.

Along with my own frustrations of the world and of things going on. I sit there and tell myself as I do others.

Have you ever played with lego’s and then when it was time to put them away you only put away the pieces of the superstructure and then finished up by cleaning the leftover pieces. Then have you played lego’s again and started to use some of the superstructures that you used from the time before to make your new creation. Then we wonder why our new creation has the characteristics of the past. The idea never occurred to us that to build and create something truly new, something truly creative and worth mentioning we much first take apart all the pieces to build something new.

Aside from some people that I expect to be philosophers and a few others that I value their opinion, I shared it with someone, only they were unimpressed and not taken with the complexity of the idea and what it was suggesting. That philosophy, along with the philosophy of “identity in space,” has changed my entire sense of being and doing, and because of that, I have to remain open-minded. My approach to life and my approach to being is the same, and isn’t like anyone else’s that I know. Most people walk and live a universal life filled with a few highs and lows but, for the most part, bounce back and forth between two distinctive definitions.

Even these people I know of thinking and seemingly living a life of luxury or extravagance have all fallen victim. The truth and the key to success are the Revolution, a spark of being, a spark of life contrary to what the world is putting out there. Especially in this time of day when everything remains uncertain and seemingly downtrodden. 2020 has been a roller coaster of emotions. Fires, viruses, quarantine, riots, political correctness, and so forth, and we are now only halfway through. This has even left me to question my own position and my own line of thinking.

First and for most I have decided to remain happy and embrace my life to the fullest. No longer letting people make me or cause me to feel bad about myself, who I am, and what I am all about. I am overall the people that think that if I am unhappy here or that I might be happy elsewhere then I need to leave I will have a go fund me account for people to donate to that cause. How I look is how I look. I will do my best to lose my weight and fix my teeth but I can’t easily change who I am after all I was born me. My interests hobbies and beliefs are mine as well. I make no apology to people who don’t know the world, or what resides in their world. When you take in the world beyond what you know and think you know you find that there is a world out there that has happened and is happening.

The ability to go through life and miss it is very real and very possible. often people get caught up in circumstances and situations that further limit their being.

Though my plans were changed dramatically from the get-go I still have not given up on making them happen and work. I can’t tell you how many times in the past I got what I wanted but it didn’t look like I wanted it to or it didn’t have the qualities I sought. Life has its own idea about how things will turn out and what qualities and characteristics they will exhibit. That’s the task trying and attempting to create something in a space that it’s self is constantly changing and constantly only a reflection of what it is. People hold themselves true to various ideas consciously or unconsciously of their own doing up until they become obsolete. To out of the common idea to be relateable or to have an understanding of relatability to what is going on.

I start back to school in August of 2020 to finish my path in CPA. I do not intend to be someone who works in an office in a cube doing stacks upon stacks of paperwork, I am using a degree in CPA to make my dreams have the necessary mechanism to operate and to begin taking off on its own. Along with that, as for content for my web page, I am going to start with what I got. I am going to feature my own town, pros cons, events. Casper Wy will be where I learn to tell the story of a city and it’s people.